Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Ok - first off, let me just say that I do not (and probably will never) consider myself to be "skinny."  I'm not sure what the definition of that word even is, but I am pretty sure that you won't find my picture next to the word in the dictionary (if it's even IN the dictionary).  

That said, there's this thing that has been happening.  And, this thing happens to be causing me to have less motivation.  This thing is compliments.  Nice compliments.  Ones I've hoped for for YEARS and thought that no one would ever say to me b/c I couldn't see the light at the end of this tunnel I'm in.  People are calling ME this word.  Now, I recognize that in comparison to my former self, this word is applicable.  But I can't help but wonder - are the same people using this word in reference to me going to think I need to go eat a fatty hamburger (which, I just did btw! lol) when I ditch the rest of this weight?!  hah!  

The thing is - and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the comments, the compliments, etc.  But, in a way - they are helping me to be comfortable.  I feel good, I'm pretty happy with how I'm looking these days and I'm really capable physically.  I'm not where I want to be, but, regardless, I feel good.  I want to help people - I want my journey to inspire others and I want to pay it forward in a bigger way (more on that soon!).  But I have GOT to get out of this complacent funk.   Bootcamp is coming and I just signed up tonight for a spin class with Natalie over at Follow My Fitsteps.  (If you're a Lawrence person, it's through parks and rec, so sign up!)  I know that those 2 things are going to put a little motivation back in my game - I think being outside and being with some of the former bootcampers is going to help a lot and I'm excited about both things.  We'll see how that goes!

That's all I have tonight, but I leave you with these questions.....

What does the word "skinny" mean to you and/or what is your definition of it?
Anyone else been in this place?  Understand this?  Have any words of wisdom?  :sos:



Anonymous said...

Hunnie, I know exactly how you feel!!! Don't get discouraged, it is so hard when you have only seen yourself a certain way for an extended period of time, I know I still don't consider myself skinny, and I completely agree with the whole definition thing. I still have a very hard time accepting the compliments, and I think that mainly comes from the fact that I had worked so hard to get to my goal, and then it was like once I had reached it, I had nothing to work for... WRONG!!!! I became extremely complacent, to the point of no longer working out, and gaining 10 lbs. back, I am happy to say I am back on track and down 6 lbs. so it happens to the best of us, just keep your head up and keep moving forward, as long as you are happy and know what needs to be done to make you happy, then that is all that really matters!!! A

Crystal Elliott said...

So I too hear that word and (fortunately) I have for a long time. But the key is not what others say or think...sure it is nice to hear but what matters is that inner voice. Usually there are two. One angel and devil voice. For me I hear the devil more. The devil voice says you may be skinny in their eyes but you still gotta work to be healthy and fit or you won't be skinny anymore. When I work out 5-7 times a week my mindset is not to necessarily shed weight but maintain the weight I have. If I lose weight......great...if I gain I am in major trouble and that's how I know. Also having a goal calorie burn each week is good so you can account for how to maintain that weight. It does become harder to go and push yourself but just keep your goals on the horizon and you should be fine. You are doing FANTASTIC! :). Crystal

Natalie said...

I think those comments are so funny because it's all based on a person's perception relative to the perception of ourselves! We can think we look a certain way and to someone else we may look completely different. That's why I think it's more about how our body feels.

I'm excited that you'll be in spin! It will be a nice addition to your workout routine, and something completely different!